I was so excited to order big brother shirts for both boys when I found out I was pregnant.
Jared's says "Big Brother 09 Again" ... Will's is Big Brother 09 in Training"
The boys were excited to wear their matching big brother shirts. I realized after we lost the baby that the shirts we have are now worthless as there is no possibility of us having another baby before the end of the 2009. I am sad that I had not even snapped a photo of them wearing them yet. Ever since the baby dies, I have been meaning to take a picture so I can get them out of their drawers and put them away. (I promise to post it if I ever get around to it because they are pretty cute.)
Ever since receiving the shirt, though, Jared has loved it and wears it quite often. In fact, he has picked it out himself to wear for the past two days. (last night when he laid out his clothes for today, he purposely laid it out on his reading chair so he could wear it again today)
Today Jared, while wearing the shirt says brightly, "Mommy, I can be a big brother to that baby that went to heaven that is not in your tummy anymore!" I didn't understand what he was saying at first so he had to repeat it a few times.
He repeats slowly and with emphasis on each word, "Mommy, I can be a big brother to that baby in heaven that is not in your tummy anymore!"
Me: tears
I love that heaven and the reality of this baby, that he never actually met and only imagined, is so very real to him.
I love that the shirts that we purchased in eager anticipation of a new arrival are not a total waste.
The truth is that Jared is and will be a big brother to that baby that is now in heaven.
The truth is that I am and will be a mommy to that baby that is now in heaven.
Thanks for reminding me, J. Love you.
...
One thing this experience has taught me is how little I know about heaven. I have so few actual biblical insights to offer Jared in response to his questions that have been coming up more and more frequently about the subject.
Well ... besides the fact that I am pretty sure that heaven is not in my tummy.
I long to know more.
3 comments:
I feel the same way about wanting to know more about Heaven, now that my mom is there. It's because we want to picture our loved one there and what they're doing!
My mom was notorious for being a perfectionist and slight control freak. When she died, I said to my husband, "I wonder what she's doing right now." He said, "probably rearranging." It made me laugh, despite my sadness.
I'm sure that your baby is up there being loved on and cradled by all who know and love you guys.
Hey Stac. So great to catch up today. Loved meeting your little guys. They are too sweet.
Again, I'm so sorry about your recent loss. I can only imagine how heartbreaking and painful this news must have been. On Mother's day no less. I read 1 Peter Chapter 1 and thought of you. Please know I'm praying for you.
Let's keep in touch though facebook. And maybe we can come meet you guys in San Diego this summer for dinner. Would be so much fun!
Much love to you, Tim, Jared and Will.
Wen (and Chris)
I found a wonderful site that is filled with answers about heaven.
www.lds.org
No strings. Just great insights and freedom to look.
Enjoy the journey! :)
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